It’s Not You, It’s Me. No…It’s You.

I’m one of those non-responders when I get an email from someone on an internet dating site that I’m not interested in. Other friends have differing philosophies on this, mostly that someone at least deserves the courtesy of a “no thanks” if they put themselves out there. They are probably right. After all, I do this when people query me at the agency with their manuscripts. In that framework I absolutely feel like people deserve the courtesy of a response, even if I won’t be writing a personalized one in every instance.

And yet, somehow it seems cruel when it comes to online dating. Perhaps because it’s more a personal attack, a more superficial judgment of character. That and when I’ve taken the initiative and sent emails to boys first, I’ve NEVER gotten a response.

But sometimes I really really really wish I could send notes people after a bad email, or a bad date. And so, I’ve adapted one of my form rejection letters from my literary agent hat to one that I could theoretically use for boys.

Dear Man/Boy/Person,

Thank you so much for your interest. Unfortunately I don’t feel I’m the appropriate girl to go out with as your personality just isn’t right for me.

I’m sure another potential girlfriend will feel differently, and with the vast array of opinions in the dating world, I wish you the best in finding the right partnership.

Thanks again for thinking of me.

All best, Elana

What do you think?

2010
02/07
CATEGORY
I Don't Know Either
TAGS



8 comments

Introducing: Cone 6 Media

So as those of you loyal readers (both here and on the CJLA blog) know, I’ve become a bit of a tech geek over the last year or two. I like my gadgets, and reading the tech blogs, and tinkering with social media and other webby things. Case in point, I will absolutely be watching the live feed today for the Apple announcement.

And as it turns out, I really enjoy setting up websites. There’s something about pulling together both content and design into a nice, clean, attractive interface. I just really enjoy it. It began as a hobby and side interest, but then I started helping other people do it more and more often. I realized that it could be something really viable for me to expand my professional repertoire.

All of  which has led to a new business venture for me. I’ve created a company (the first I’ve owned all by myself!) to guide people otherwise daunted by the muddy internet waters. I’m here to help them create a professional image and presence for themselves online. It can be as simple as a blog, or a more well-developed website.

So I’m happy to introduce you to CONE 6 MEDIA. I’m officially open for business. The Kings County Clerk will vouch for me, as will my accountant. Please click on through to the new site. And if you, or someone you know, is looking for some website help, I’d be happy to hear from you.

2010
01/27
CATEGORY
All Things Elana
TAGS




5 comments

BAH!



BAH at BGH

Originally uploaded by elanaroth

Watch out, New York. Doug-Dennis is popping up in all kinds of places…keep an eye out for @HonestDoug on Twitter for more Dougy sightings…

2010
01/19
CATEGORY
All Things Elana
Books and Bookishness
TAGS




2 comments

Call Me

As seen in Brooklyn Heights….

Now, this could either be incredibly romantic, or incredibly sad. Maybe they said goodbye on this corner, and he doesn’t have a cell phone with caller ID, so this was his hope–she’d round the corner they stood on together, think of him fondly, see his note, and realize what a romantic he is.

Or maybe there was a reason she didn’t give him her number.

Want to leave your theories in the comments?

2010
01/14
CATEGORY
I Don't Know Either
TAGS


4 comments

Contemplating Contemplation

For better or worse, I spend a lot of time alone these days. Sometimes I need it. Sometimes I don’t. But sometimes I can manage to do that outside the confines of my studio apartment and go see pretty things. Like yesterday, when I took myself to the Met and let myself wander, with no agenda other than to maybe find a room I’ve never seen before. I was successful.

But while lavishing your eyes with the beautiful scenery, you somehow also begin to really consider your place in the world. And the Met (though I haven’t been in a few years) is one of those places I’ve been taking myself to think for the past 10 years. Which really just makes you remember back to all those other moments you sat there just to think…and what you thought about. In light of the crap that was 2009, and my half-assed determination to make 2010 better, I’m wondering how far I’ve actually come since then.

Something happened that really highlighted this for me yesterday. While wandering through the American Wing, I passed a guy and his girlfriend. I did a double-take and realized I knew him. It was someone I hadn’t seen in 10 years. We were camp counselors together. And kind of friends. I remember he was a nice guy, and nice to me back then. But yesterday he didn’t show any signs of mutual recognition so I just kept going. Either I looked very different, or I’m just too good at recognizing people. Or I didn’t make enough of an impact back then, or if he just wasn’t very good at remembering people. Or it’d just been that long a time after all.

I think the force of the past 10 years kind of hit me then, even just in innocently passing someone who you knew in a past life. The way paths randomly cross with no rhyme or reason, the soft memories that creep up and either make you smile or grimace, and the idea of who you were and who you might have been had you made different choices. And the idea that a lot of things can happen, but that doesn’t mean things actually change all that much.

I’m wistful to say the least. And that’s pretty much all I got.

2010
01/10
CATEGORY
All Things Elana
Waxing Philosophic
TAGS




9 comments